Thursday, March 28, 2024

 That was a big Yankee victory.

Goodbye Cruel World, It's Opening Day

 


The gods place bets with loaded dice,
And all our earthly dreams betray,
But listen to one clown's advice,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

The politicians scrounge for power,
With consequences we shall pay.
But somewhere, it's our finest hour,
Goodbye, cruel world; it's opening day.

Our weary age is full of war,
The daily news brings dark dismay,
So surf the dreams worth living for,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.


-- el duque, 2008 --

No more meaninglessness. I predict these 10 Yankee predictions will be predictive

I hath gazed into the Future and, trust me, don't try this at home. 

Ten Yankee predictions for 2024.

1. We will win 86 games, one shy of the wild card. The reason? Ninety percent of baseball is pitching, pitching, pitching... and Yankees just don't have enough, enough, enough...

2. Carlos Rodon - aka "The Mothman" - will win 10 games and spend much of the second half in mothballs. Neither ace nor pariah, he'll pitch decently until an injury takes him down. In other words, the new normal.

3. Ditto Aaron Judge. (Note the recurring theme.) Judge will hit 35 HRs, but we'll be lucky to get 120 games from him. Am I being negative? Well, why would we expect the Yankees - one year older - to escape the tweaks and strains that have wrecked the last 15 seasons?

4. Anthony Volpe will improve, but not to Jeterian status. Sadly, that will make him, to some, a disappointment. The fact is, no one can meet the expectations that are regularly placed on the top Yankee prospect. We saw it with Gleyber. We saw it with The Martian. We'll see it with Spencer Jones. This is an existential Yankee problem: The hype machine vs. the mentality of youngsters. I think Volpe will hit .250 with about 20 HRs. Not bad, but by September, they'll be hyping Roderick Arias as the SS of the future.  

5. Giancarlo Stanton will ride high in April, be shot down in May. He'll tweak something. This is the easiest prediction on this list. Seriously, does anybody doubt me? 

6. Baltimore will run away with the AL East. I cannot fathom why everyone is not predicting this (are they hyping the Yanks out of sympathy?) Baltimore won easily last year, and they'll be better in 2024. Do they have enough pitching? Maybe not. Do they have prospects who can be traded for pitching? Fuck, yeah. The O's Era will last three to five years. We're playing for wild cards.

7. Our breakout pitcher will be Clarke Schmidt. He'll win 15 games and maybe get a few Cy Young votes. Also, Alex Verdugo - a new dad, with new maturity - will hit 25 HRs and bat .290. Career year, as he heads to free agency. (He's got a kid to support.) 

8. Aaron Boone will not last the season as manager. He'll leave in August, maybe citing personal reasons, or maybe just be canned. Won't matter why. The Yankees, banged up and sinking, will be desperate for change. Boone will walk the plank, and some firebrand - a Bobby Valentine type - will roil the clubhouse.

9. The Yankees will set an MLB record for most pitchers used in a regular season. Many, if not most, have yet to join the team; they'll be signed in Brian Cashman's weekly scavenger hunt, as he supplies the gristmill with fresh cadavers, like Peter Lorre in a Roger Corman movie. Don't be surprised if, before the year ends, we see Max Scherzer, Rich Hill, Zack Greinke and Justin Verlander in pinstripes. It won't even matter if Gerrit Cole avoids surgery and returns in June. The Yankees, terrified of losing him, won't work him, as in the past. And durability was his greatest asset.

10. Juan Soto will have a great year - .290, 40 HRs, 110 RBIs - and the Yankees, desperate to appease their rage-filled fan base, will give him a 10-year deal. The Big Wheel will turn, and come next March, we'll be predicting the same predictions. Let's just hope we're all still here to save each other, because - frankly - that's all the Yankees and this site can offer.  

I'm not clicking on this

 Why would you? 



Wednesday, March 27, 2024

If John is still doing games (please, God!) when UC Irvine's Dub Gleed becomes a Yankee (please, God!), what will the HR call be?

 El Duque suggests: 

RUBBA-DUB DUB! GLEED FILLS THE YANKEE NEED! 

What do you say? 



Ten fun facts - and a prospect John Sterling HR call - about the newest Yankee, Jon Berti.

 

The Yankees got him from Miami in a three-way, where the Yankees gave up Ben Rortvedt (which, thank God, I never have to spell again) and a promising low-level OF named John Cruz.

Okay, first, let's get this out of the way. John's call:

"IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS... JON! BYE-BYE BIRTI! THE BIRD HAS FLOWN THE COOP! JONNY MAKES ME FEEL BONNIE!"

Ten Fun Facts

10. From the looks of things, he needs to shave.

9. In 2022, he led the NL in stolen bases; he was reportedly the fastest 2B in the NL. 

8. Last year, even with the fatter bases, he stole only 16. (And he batted .294.) 

7. He can play 3B and bats RH, so he'll likely platoon with new LH-only Oswaldo Cabrera. 

6. At Bowling Green University, he set a season record for triples.

5. He's been with Toronto (twice), Cleveland, Miami and now the Yankees.

4. He's 34, a year younger than DJ LeMahieu, who he'll replace for a while.

3.  This spring with the Marlins, he was 8-for-35 - (.229) with a HR and one SB (and one Caught Stealing.)

2. Over six years in the Majors, he's a career .258 hitter with only 23 HRs.

1. His nickname is - do I have to say it? - "The Birdman."

Holy Crap! A certain big name IT IS HIGH blogger just got written up in the New Yorker

Our own HoraceClarke66 -aka Kevin Baker - is getting well deserved praise from the hoity-toity coastal elite media. If you haven't bought his book yet - what are you waiting for?

(Not that I'm jealous or anything - I mean, anybody who knows me knows that I don't have a jealous bone in my body - but Jeeze Krice, I'm still waiting on my submissions to the Man-Beast Barnyard Love Gazette.) 

Meanwhile, here's a gander...


Seriously, congratulations, Hoss! 

Now... about that prediction of yours for 2024... 

Sixty Nine wins? 

Oh, yeah, Baseball Reference?

The Athletic ran their 2024 season model 100,000 times-- 100 fucking thousand times! --and this is their result for the AL East.

Granted, we end up losing to the Astros in the League Championship Series (and the Astros end up losing the WS to the Dodgers, both unsavory choices), but still.

The model showed only two teams with 90+ wins on the season: the Braves and the Dodgers. Harrumph. (I didn't get a 'harrumph' out of that guy...)

My highly rational and well-informed opinion about all this is that nobody knows nothin'.

A distressed and disillusioned Yankiverse greets 2024 with reduced expectations


Well, folks, here they are: Your sad and hurtful Yankee predictions for 2024. Collecting them, I wept several times. 

(Note: You still have until noon Thursday E.D.T. to add or update predictions.)

The winner receives an all-expenses-paid weekend in Sarasota, a Super Mobility Power Scooter, a Safe Step Walk-in Shower our eternal respect.

Here are your predictions. (Mine comes tomorrow.) Read them and (bleep.)

IT IS HIGH             Yank            Wins by               HRs by
Commenter       team wins   Carlos Rodon    Juan Soto

"I'll Have What They're Drinking" Group
Stang                         103                      28                    73
RtotheE                      97                      10                    36
PgPick                        95                       12                    42
Gary Frenay             94                      10                     33
JM                                 93                        7                     47
Platoni                        93                      11                      39
Mattingly's
Mustache                   93                       9                     37
Doug K                        92                        9                     48
Parson Tom              92                      16                     38

The "Make it a Double" Group

Kevin                           91                       14                     43
Above Average        90                       12                     45
Jaraxle                        90                       11                      42
Vampifella                90                        6                     40
Hinkey Haines        89                       11                      31
Ken of Brooklyn     88                         8                     37
Joe of AZ                    88                         8                     44
Carl J. Weitz             88                         9                     41
Daveyhead               88                       10                      51
Ranger _lp               87                         8                     37
Above Average's 
Cat                                87                       10                     41
Lieber                         86                         9                     15
El Duque                    86                       10                     35
Mildred Lopez         86                       10                    29
Doctor T                     86                        8                     42
Pocono Steve           85                         7                     40
Publius                       85                         9                     33
BTR999                     85                         9                    35

The "I'm Feeling a Bit Queasy" Group
Acrilly                         84                         6                    44
Scottish
Yankee Fan
               83                         6                     27
Celerino Sanchez   83                         8                     34
Alphonso                   82                         4                     27
Rufus T Firefly        82                         3                     35

The "Somebody Get a Mop" Group
Bern Baby Bern       81                        14                    38
Dick Allen                 80                          9                    54
Hammer of God     80                          8                    36
Copelius                     79                          7                    52
13 Bit                            72                          7                    37
BASEBALL REFERENCE                71 wins 
HoraceClarke66     69                           5                   33

Remember: No additions or amendments after noon Thursday, E.D.T.

And come October, you will be held accountable for all Yankee sins.

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Baseball has a new Best Name

 

And it belongs to Dub Gleed, junior at the University of California at Irvine. Infielder for the Anteaters. 

In 2023, Dub Gleed...

  • Hit .300 for the season playing all 55 games and starting 54
  • Registered 65 hits, 17 doubles, one triple, five home runs, 49 RBIs, and 36 runs scored
  • Season highs of four hits three times, five RBIs twice, three runs scored vs. UC Riverside May 25, and finished the season on a season-high seven-game hit streak
  • Played summer ball in the Cape Cod League for the Yarmouth-Dennis Red Sox collected 20 hits in 36 games including three doubles, two home runs, and 19 RBIs
IT IS HIGH salutes Dub Gleed! 

Not everybody thinks the Yankees are going to dominate in 2024. In fact...

 

Seventy one wins. Yikes.  

With DJ LeMahieu out, third base is once again The Yankee Abyss

Wanna cry? Wanna bundle all your hopes and dreams, and mail them to Utica? Want to gaze wide-eyed into the open jaws of Hell? Of course, you do; you're here, right? As Fred Nietzsche once wrote, if you gaze too long into the Abyss, the Abyss gazes back at you. So, here is your daily glance, via Baseball Reference: 

The list of Yankee regular third basemen over the last 10 years.

Wow. This isn't Utility Man for the KC Royals. It's the fabled hot corner for the storied New York Yankees - a cavalcade of scrap heap pickups, stars past their sell-by dates and hopefuls who didn't pan out. There is no .300 hitter, no 30 HR slugger. (In our most hopeful season, 2018, Miggy finished at .297 with 27 dingers. Note: He's now in Oakland, and he just blew out a knee and will undergo surgery. Hang in there, Mig Man!) There are delightful human beings (Never Nervous Yangervis, Gio Urshela) and some who, to put it charitably, disgraced themselves on multiple levels (Josh "Jackie" Donaldson.) 

Browse modern Yank history, and you'll find a stark inability to develop 3B. Our best - ARod, Boggs, Nettles - came from other organizations. We raised Pat Kelly, Randy Velarde, Mike Pagliarulo and Mike Lowell, whom we traded for next to nothing. It's as if the ghost of Clete Boyer forever haunts us.

Even today, in the Yankees Top 20 prospect lists, the 3B position sucks air. Our recent best hopes - Oswald Peraza and Oswaldo Cabrera - have fizzled. (Oswaldo could start opening day. He no longer switch hits; is that a good sign?) Beyond them, our best bet is probably Tyler Hardman, who hit 26 HRs last year at Double A, but batted only .237. He's 25.  

Yesterday, Aaron Boone disclosed that LeMahieu will miss opening day with a badly bruised foot. He'll start 2024 on the IL, which is wise, considering that we seen the Bad Toe DJ, and he hits .220.  

Last winter, when the Death Barge traded for Juan Soto, a burst of excitement rose across the Yankiverse. We were gonna sign Yamamoto! We were gonna rise again! Now, the loss of Gerrit Cole and a rather dismal spring training have sobered everybody up. As you read this, Cooperstown Cashman is surely combing the waiver wires for a third baseman with a pulse. 

Make no mistake. We have reached SNAFU, the military acronym that stands for Situation Normal: All Fucked Up. Don't stare too long at 3B. It might stare back.

Monday, March 25, 2024

Here we go again: It's time to predict how many games the 2024 Yankees will win

Time marches on, passes, flies when you're having fun can go to Hell. 

Wasn't it yesterday that we - the bootless and unhorsed complainers of the Yankiverse - toasted the end of 2023, a torture trail of gonadal tweaks, GIDPs and Exit Velos? 

The Death Barge won a pitiful 82 games. Aaron Judge hit a mere 37 HRs, and Anthony Volpe batted a despicable .209. The results - even for YES, the most powerful propaganda machine in American sports - were unspinnable. It was a shit year.

Eighty-two wins. Eighty losses. Yikes. 

Obviously, the GM and manager were quickly fired the team audited itself and made no front office changes. Sparing no expense, the team signed Cy Young winner Blake Snell, Luke Weaver.

Last March, we invited IT IS HIGH readers to predict the number of Yankee victories that would happen in 2023. For a site perceived to be venomous and bitter toward the Yankee Condition, these projections came in ridiculously high. We perceive ourselves as harsh critics of the team. In fact, we are a bunch of giggling Holly Golightlys.  

In October's final tally, The WinWarblist proved to be the IT IS HIGH Nostradamus by predicting 85 victories. Alphonso - the relentless voice of doom - finished second. He was the only reader to project a sub-.500 season, 77 wins.

For the record, I was fat, drunk and stupidly upbeat, predicting 100 wins. And HoraceClarke66, currently the toast of the NYC literary scene, scored a rose-colored 93. 

Well, it's time again to put our Pollyannish ignorance on display. 

It's time to make our predictions for 2024.

Here's how we'll do this. Get your projections to me by Thursday, at 3:10 p.m. Eastern, when the Yankees begin their season in Houston. (They will lose, of course, unless astral projections from Garret Cole create a rip in the Matrix.) Over the next few days, post them into the Comments sections.

We need your predictions for:

The number of Yankee wins in 2024.

Tie-breaker No. 1: The number of wins to be recorded by Carlos Rodon in 2024.

Tie-breaker No. 3: The number of HRs to be hit by Juan Soto in 2024.

I'm slaving over my numbers and will post them Wednesday, after the team announces its final wave of secret injuries. 

Get out your abacuses, everybody. Get thee to an AI chatbox. Time is of the essence a fuckin' asshole. But who knows? Come October 5, maybe you will be the new IT IS HIGH Nostradamus. 

By the way, here's how we all did last year... Read it and bleep.

THE IT IS HIGH Predictions for 2023

Name                   Wins                Judge HRs        Volpe BA

The Idiots
Stang                     102                        74                          .241
JM                           101                         55                          .262
Platoni                  101                         52                          .287
ME, EL DUQUE  100                        63                          .238

Eaters of the Crap 
Ken of Brooklyn  98                       49                         .248
Mattingly’s Mustache  97           60                          .273
Dave Murray        97                        54                          .262
Ranger_lp            96                        47                           .273
Hammer of God   96                       37                          .260
PgPick                      96                       52                         .257
Doug K                     96                       47                          .301
Jaraxle (form Dantes)  96            52                          .282
Gary Frenay          96                       55                          .277

Hopeless Romantics
Zachary A               95                       43                          .253
Carl J. Weitz           94                       45                          .271
Kevin                        94                       52                          .274
Vampifella             94                        18                          .225
HoraceClarke66  93                        42                          .244
Hinkey Haines     93                        44                          .272
BernBabyBern     92                         36                          .276
AboveAverage      92                        48                          .281
David Bellela        92                         x                            x
MildredLopez       91                        44                           .251
Lieber                       91                        50                           .282
Rufus T. Firefly    90                       44                           .256
RtotheE                   90                       50                           .250

Dopeless Romantics 
Borntorun99        89                       36                           .248
Urban Farmer      89                        28                            .231
DickAllen               89                        54                            .241
Scottish Yankee fan   88               44                           .245
Archangel             88                         49                           .280
13bit                        86                          51                            .271
CelerinoSanchez  86                       39                           .269
WinWarblist        85                          52                           .242

The Angry One 
Alphonso              77                          47                            .289

Sunday, March 24, 2024

Post of the day: From Doctor T... Why Yankee players break like breadsticks

Statisticians have no feel for the human body. That's why Yankees break ballplayers like breadsticks. The physics of torque and velocity may tell you how to put more spin or speed on the ball (or hit the ball harder), but that only speeds the day - if you'll pardon the pun - when the arm that throws the ball, swings the bat or the legs that run the bases will snap a tendon, tear a ligament or some other injury.

But if statisticians have no feel for the human body, they have even less capacity to understand the human inside that body: their emotions, insecurities, etc. This is why Yankees can't finish prospect development, even if we set aside their awful advice to young ballplayers (hit strikes harder!). Boone may mollycoddle players, but he and the coaches are not in charge and keep their jobs because they know not to get in the way of the real decision-makers: statisticians and the worthless trust fund brats who listen to them.

On a team driven ENTIRELY by stats and overprivileged, trust fund brats, neither of whom ever played baseball, this is a deadly combination. Throw in a stadium crowd that is also full of trust fund brats (because the rest of us can't afford a ticket), who also never played the game and the sum of all things is fundamentally incompetent, dangerous to player health and emotionally toxic.

Even for the player who already learned how to play successful baseball, in a kinder, gentler universe, this can be overwhelming. First, they don't play as well as they used to and get booed. Then they listen to the incompetent advise of Yankee statisticians and stat-driven trainer/coaches, their performance doesn't improve, they double down on bad Yankee advice and . . . well . . .off to the medical office you go.

I'm a lifelong Yankee fan and I wouldn't want to play on that team. Not if I value my future career, enjoy my lifelong passion, not be abused and or want to kick the dog at the end of the workday. Management sucks. Arrogant idiots rule the decision-making process. The trainers will get me hurt. The fans are harsh and unforgiving. Too many nicer places to play and my dog will thank me for playing there.

Syracuse is closing in on Buffalo for the 2024 Golden Snowball. Is there time left on the calendar?

 Here's where the snowfall counts stand:


Once again, Syracuse is underperforming. 

Maybe in 2030, when we get that Micron chip plant running? 

Will Carlos Rodon be the last big-ticket pitcher the Yankees ever sign?

Today's official edict from the Death Barge/YES Propaganda Chancellery goes that Carlos Rodon remains "confident" of his stuff, as we inch toward the 2024 regular season.

At least someone is confident. Ever since Gerrit Cole reported a tender elbow, barely three weeks ago, despair has flourished across the Yankiverse like measles in Florida. We waited all winter for the Yankees to sign Blake Snell or Jordan Montgomery, ignoring the front office's constant denials. We were like kids who found horseshit under the Christmas tree, and ran jubilantly to the backyard, convinced that a pony awaited us. Surely, the Yanks would sign one of the two, right? But it never happened, and now, nobody expects otherwise. And if anybody criticizes the Yankee brain trust, one response always goes unspoken: 

Want another Carlos Rodon?

In modern times, the Yankee narrative is larded with repeated attempts by Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman to bring an ace pitcher to Gotham. Cashman, himself, has called it his "white whale." His list of failures is legendary - (it almost defies random chance) - the pitchers who exceled in other cities, then went knock-kneed in NYC: Carl Pavano. Jose Contreras. Jeff Weaver. Kevin Brown. Javier Vasquez. Randy Johnson. Cory Lidle. Kei Igawa. Sidney Ponson. AJ Burnett. Rich Hill. Nathan Eovaldi. Michael Pineda. James Paxton. JA Happ. Lance Lynn. Jameson Taillon. Corey Kluber. Andrew Heaney. Sonny Gray. Frankie Montas... DEAR GOD, STOP ME! Honestly, it goes even further.  

If Cashman had any feel - or just dumb luck - for identifying the great future pitcher, this franchise could have several more rings, and he would be striding into Cooperstown like Barbie on a red carpet. This remains his greatest continual failure. And today's big question - if it is a question, at all - is whether Carlos Rodon will soon join the above illustrious shit list, which is celebrated by Yankee-haters everywhere. 

Yesterday, in a "tune up" for the regular season, Rodon dispelled whatever hopes were generated in his previous start - a five-inning, no-hit performance. As you see in the above box, he gave up five earned runs in four innings. That's the kind of start that would earn Luis Gil a bus ticket to Scranton. But the Yankees have no recourse other than postgame spin: He has "confidence." It's like the trope message in the newspaper personals: "Come home, Bruno, you didn't fracture my skull, you merely broke my nose. All is forgiven. Lulu."

Making matters worse, Rodon's performance came yesterday as rumors were spreading across Elon's X (Twitter) that other GMs are far more skeptical than the Yankees are about Gerrit Cole's return in June. Nobody knows whether Cole can come back - not even Cole, I suspect. But here are the stakes: 

If Cole's elbow doesn't improve, he could undergo Tommy John surgery. That would wipe out 2024 and most of the following season. He might return in September of 2025, pushing age 35, with three more years on his Yankee contract, at $36 million per season. 

Considering what Cole has meant to the Yankees, he will never appear on the list of Cashman's Cuties. But if he misses two seasons and is never the same, it will be fodder for Hal Steinbrenner to never again approve a Cashman proposal, when it comes to pitching. And frankly, who would blame him?

Saturday, March 23, 2024

Thoughts on the impending Yankee resurgence and world championship

1. Last night against the Mess, Anthony Rizzo was a last-minute scratch, a "precautionary" benching that no one - no one! - should waste a Calgon Bath Oil Bead over. I'm certainly not worried. Why would I worry? If it were the regular season, Rizzo would have played. He said so. The Yankees don't lie about injuries. That would be dishonest. Franchise credibility is on the line here. The fact that Rizzo couldn't play, and they used Luis Torrens, a reserve catcher, at 1B - it means nothing, nothing! I don't know why I'm writing about it. I should stop. Rizzo cherishes his reputation as truth-teller. And the Prevagen seems to have cured his concussions. So... nothing to worry about. I should stop.  

2. Speaking of lies... Showtime Shohei! There's something wondrously fulfilling about watching the Dodgers - what the Yankees used to be - frying in Vegas grease. Isn't it refreshing to be bystanders, while MLB "investigates" its biggest attraction? We can stand around like Bart Simpson, just saying, "I didn't do it." Sure, we may have colluded on the Blake Snell and Jordan Montgomery front, but nobody blew $4.5 million betting on Knicks scores. We're also-rans, but we're innocent. 

3. Also, three cheers for the Yank front office in surgically avoiding the flop known as Yoshi Yamamoto. Guy threw one inning, gave up five (5) earned runs - an ERA of, hmm, 45.00. The Tax Dodgers have him for 12 years and $325 million. He won't win many Cy Youngs with an ERA of 45.00, eh? Not that I'd ever gloat. We at IT IS HIGH might occasionally complain about Yankee cheapness and bad trades, but we dodged a bullet train by finishing third in the Yamamoto Derby. Some numbers nerd should get a raise.

4. Based on last night, the Yankee opening day lineup is taking shape. 

Gleyber Torres, 2B
Juan Soto RF
Aaron Judge CF
Anthony Rizzo 1B
Giancarlo Stanton DH
Alex Verdugo LF 
Anthony Volpe SS
Jose Trevino C 
Kevin Smith/Impending scrap heap signing 3B 

This will change if Bad Foot LeMahieu returns. (Over three MLB years, Kevin Smith has never hit higher than .185. Last night, he also blew a grounder.) Also, Trent Grisham could play CF, sending Verdugo into therapy.

5. As for the pitching staff:

Carlos Rodon
Marcus Stroman 
Clarke Schmidt
Nestor Cortes
Luis Gil/Will Warren
Luke Weaver
Clay Holmes
Jonathan Loaisiga
Ian Hamilton
Nick Burdi
Your Name Here: Impending scrap heap pickup

How far does this team go? Depends on the next last-minute scratches, I guess.

Friday, March 22, 2024

Yanks Ink New Executive.

 


Lonn Trost, the Yankees' chief operating officer and general gargoyle, announced today that the team had signed a top new executive, Ricky Schadenfreude, to run the team's Reveling in the Misfortunes of Others Department.

"Ricky might be new in the Bronx, but he has a long record of running Schadenfreude operations in Flushing and Cleveland, always encouraging baseball fans in those forlorn outposts to look past their own teams' troubles, and rejoice in the sudden calamities that seem to fall so often upon our Yankees," Trost gurgled. 

"In light of the fact that, let's face it, we're no longer even trying to put together a championship team, we can count on Ricky teaching us how to take greater pleasure in the failure of others."

Trost would not comment when asked if he meant any team in particular, such as the Los Angeles Dodgers.

(With apologies to BTR999.)









The Ohtani Situation

The Ohtani Situation is shaping up as one of those chapters in baseball history that will live on long long after his eventual expulsion.

If his best friend really did steal 4.5 million dollars from him we’re talking Bernard Madoff meets Bernard Rubble. 

If instead, Ippei “Big Hunch” Mizuhara was covering for a Phil Mickelsonesque -  Micheal Jordanish gambling addiction then, and I’m being historical and cultural here, he needs to commit what one poster to the NY Post comments section called “Harry Carrey”.

BTW, I wasn’t sure if the commenter was brilliant or stupid, as the Post’s comment section is an absolute cesspool.

Speaking of Bernards, this is Bernard Malamud level stuff and could very well end with Ohtani winding up pitching perfect games on a debris strewn sandlot in Haiti.

Then there is the story of the bookie. 

"Earlier this week, the Dodgers fired Ohtani’s longtime interpreter and close friend, Ippei Mizuhara, after it was alleged Ohtani wired $4.5 million to alleged illegal bookmaker Mathew Bowyer to cover Mizuhara’s gambling debts."

He's not a happy guy today. 

I'll tell you who is happy, Chuck Lorre, who just got handed season two of his very enjoyable show, "Bookie" .

All of the above said, I guess the biggest question is what will  be FanDuel's  the over under on games suspended and can I get a parlay with the over under on the ref that called a foul on Samford's   A.J. Staton-McCray yesterday and gave the game to Kansas? 

Asking for a friend. 

Let's hope Nasty Nestor is saving his best stuff for Opening Day (and would Ohtani bet on it?)

Ever since his 2019 arrival, Nasty Nestor Cortes - introduced last winter at a Trump rally as "the Hialeah Kid"- has been New York's most physically entertaining pitcher. (Unless you hate the Yankees, in which case it was Aroldys "Niagara Falls" Chapman.; every El Chapo outing was a Shakespearian tragedy.) 

In his personal mound ballet, Cortes glided between Fernando Valenzuela and Chris Farley, He brought forth multiple windups. He'd dive headfirst into 1B to beat a runner. He emerged from the scrap heap at age 26, pitched a scoreless frame in the 2022 All-Star game, fanning Austin Riley and Garrett Cooper. He came out of nowhere, a looming Yankee legend.

Then came the setbacks, the tweaks and strains that limited him to 63 innings last season and a rather dismal 4.97 ERA. Nevertheless, the front office in December named him as their No. 3 starter, signaling plans to ignore the pricier free agents. Everything was groovy, and then Gerrit Cole's elbow spoke up.  

In yesterday's box score, Nestor gave us little to cheer. Four innings, three earned runs, the game effectively over in the fifth. But on the field, it wasn't so bad. He threw three quick scoreless innings, then, in the 4th, walked the leadoff man - Austin Riley again. An infield single followed, then an RBI single. Nestor was fraying. In the fifth, he had zilch: A leadoff HR, followed by a triple and a single. Boonie pulled the cord. 

You could argue that Nestor had a decent day - done in by fatigue, normal for late March. (That was the cheery consensus of YES.) That said, the Yankees this year will need six innings from starters. Anything less, and the bullpen will be crispy critters by June, when Cole hopefully returns. That means a 5th starter - Luis Gil, Will Warren or Clayton Beeter - must emerge from nowhere, as Nestor did. Will we get lucky again? 

Of course, we can gloat over the fate of Yoshi Yamamoto, who spurned our advances last winter for mellow LA. In Tuesday's MLB opener, he was crushed by San Diego (and 3B Tyler Wade!) His horror show outing - one inning, five runs, boos - was soon overshadowed by the potential scandal of Shohei Ohtani's tagalong, an apparent gambling junkie. (How else do you lose $4.5 million?) 

With pure IT IS HIGH fuckery, let's toast the Dodgers' quandary! Couldn't happen to a nicer billionaire. Still, I wonder how any sports league today can righteously mount a crackdown on gambling? Have you, um, looked around? Every televised sports event includes a nonstop buffet of odds and parlays. Once upon a time, gambling was baseball's boogie man. Now, it's Santa Claus. 

Sports betting is the golden calf behind Ohtani's $700 million contract. As long as his butt boy wasn't betting on baseball games, is there anything wrong - compared to this ethical shit show, which we now take for granted? 

Dunno what's coming, but some big shoes could still drop. The U.S. Justice Department surely would love an issue that unifies Americans and cannot be politicized. Enter sports gambling. Something tells me it's gonna get hotter. Just sayin'. 

Thursday, March 21, 2024

Swish


 Just prepare yourselves, folks. 

I watch the yankees and I see strike outs.

 I judge prospects on whether they go down looking or make contact.  All the " prospects"  ( now getting old ) whose first name starts with an "O"..... tend to prefer that called third strike.  Go down looking.  Meekly 

And it is true that most won't make the big club, at least not on opening day.  

But strike outs are like a sneaky virus.  You may not see them coming but they invade a team. It often begins with a bad call or two.  Then the batter " over-reaches," because the umpire can't be trusted. 

Then that breaker in the dirt. 

And so it goes.  The sniffles, the cough, the mild fever. Bed rest.  Losses. 

This team will stultify the fans again.  By mid August, the 5th grade art show at the local YMCA will be more exciting. 

Baseball for Yankee fans is just not the same, anymore.  

And we have to accept that and move on. 

That isn't easy to do.  And it breeds alcoholism.  

Which is serious. 

Voice of a fan: "This year my eager anticipation of Opening Day has changed..."

From great IT IS HIGH commentator DickAllen:

I woke up in this morning with the realization that I have many more yesterdays than I have tomorrows. I don’t feel any particular sadness over this fact, but as I approach my seventieth birthday – a staggering fact in so many ways I have yet to fully digest – I got to thinking once again about baseball (and the Yankees), something that has occupied a great deal of my idle time for the past sixty years.

I became conscious of baseball six years after the Dodgers left Brooklyn and as the sun rises on yet another season, I find myself waking up to a kaleidoscope of images that form a greatest hits of my past. You might say I’ve always been a sucker for a man in uniform, especially if the uniform has pinstripes.

Being a faithful reader of the New York Post sports pages, local heroes took center stage in a very permanent way prior my own exodus to California fourteen years ago. From Phil Linz and his harmonica to Mel Stottlemyer, who carried himself with the same quiet dignity that I imagine Lou Gehrig did, to the brawling Reggie, Thurman and Billy edition all the way up to the Core Four dynasty, I have vivid memories of all those teams that had me impatiently waiting through January as the days seemed to move more slowly in the snow. April always seemed too far away. Probably, like many of you, I would count the days.

But this year my eager anticipation of Opening Day has changed. In past years, Opening Day had a special kind of aura about it; the day was very nearly sacred ritual. It meant a day off work for me, and in the absence of my home ballpark, an afternoon at a local pub I knew would be filled with Yankees fans all wearing their gear would be almost as good. It was a celebration unlike any other, win or lose.

It was said years ago that rooting for the Yankees was like rooting for IBM. It was a smartass comment that stuck, and years later The Intern would happily crow about adopting the idea of the Yankees being the “Evil Empire”, as derisive a term as you can apply to a baseball team, to a group of boys playing a boys game. No one ever gleefully welcomed the idea that the Yankees were a corporate entity but somehow that Death Star moniker was met with a kind of mindless arrogance that has characterized this current Yankees regime, with leadership that touts itself as a “championship-caliber”, but has been characterized these past fifteen years by a complete inability to judge and nurture real talent, and an overconfidence in its limited abilities.

So I’m sitting here this morning with a bland eagerness very like a love that has lost the excitement of years past owing to an endless parade of failures as the Yankees have tried to prop up who they are with who they used to be. What has become clear to me that The Intern, a man whose very presence sickens me, whose name I cannot even utter, is in fact, the owner, the guy pulling the strings and making all the decisions without any real input from any of his alleged advisors. So, in the end, I’m rooting for a team – no – a corporation. I’m rooting for a corporation run by a man who is an owner in name only and I’m convinced that neither he nor his general manager know anything about baseball and has very little dignity befitting a Yankee. You only need to remember the way he treated Joe Torre and Derek Jeter to understand that the man has no moral fortitude.

As my years dwindle toward an inevitable end, it is not the lack of championships that bothers me. What I am most despondent about is the total lack of direction – baseball direction. The Yankees management has been successful in its ability to make money. The Corporation’s value has risen dramatically in spite of its lack of success, like a stock whose share price is inflated beyond its underlying value. The Yankees aren’t in the business of winning baseball, they're just in business. It may be business to them, but it's personal to me. I can’t look at this love of my life the same way anymore and I’m too old for a divorce.

Hello, Dodgers fans! Yamamoto got bombed, and Ohtani might face a gambling scandal

Now and then, it's refreshing just to be the team that hasn't won since 2009. 



Do the Yankees dare believe Giancarlo Stanton is back? And a follow-up question: Do they have a choice?

Yesterday, Giancarlo Stanton finally found his dreamlife fairy muse - the mystical elf who bemuses Fate and restores youthful luster to whomever it befriends. 

You can see its artistry every day, in the spry, boyish figures cut by our two leading U.S. presidential candidates.

Apparently, Ponce de Leon did find that Fountain of Youth, bubbling up somewhere east of Bradenton, and the Yankees yesterday - like young Mitch McConnell and the immortal Supreme Court - drank lustily from this vodka-like wellspring.  

In Giancarlo's case, the Muse went by the name of Marco Gonzalez, a 32-year-old Pittsburgh Pirate elevator operator who was called upon to throw three innings in Tampa. Gonzalez gave up 10 hits, 9 earned runs and 4 HRs - three by his newly Ozempicked acolyte, the skinny Giancarlo.

Amazingly, after 402 MLB home runs, this was Giancarlo's first three HR day. 

Sadly, it will be erased within a week.

Some observations:  

1. Good for him! Any path the Yankees have to a meaningful 2024 includes Stanton returning to the form of - say - 2021 (35 HRs, .273.) Today's Gammonitic outpourings on the Internet are larded with happy talk, congratulating Stanton for losing weight over the holidays and reporting to camp with a modified swing. He remains the King of Exit Velocity, and at age 34, it's not ridiculous to imagine him enjoying a final big year, even as a career twilight beckons.

2. Unless Giancarlo returns to full monster form - in which case, he'll bat fourth and play DH ever day, no questions asked - it's hard to figure out where Stanton fits in the Yankee lineup. Aaron Judge will play RF (isn't he already too beat up to play 100 games in CF?) That means Trent Grisham will play CF, with Juan Soto in LF, unless he's in RF, which leaves Alex Verdugo gathering splinters, unless he platoons with Stanton, which won't go well with either. Also, we're not factoring in the inevitable injuries that will leave us with Everson Pereira by mid-May, am I right? 

3. As a humanitarian, who regularly weeps for the plight of all, I find it hard to think of the Pirates leaving Gonzalez in there to pitch to Stanton a 3rd time, when the two previous shots were practically measured seismically by the National Earthquake Center in Golden, Colorado. By the time Stanton came up in the 4th, Gonzalez looked like a passenger on the last bus to Altoona (and he even stayed in to give up a HR to Anthony Volpe.) Who did the guy screw? Is dating the GM's daughter? Giancarlo owes him Christmas cards. 

4. Shadowing the game were reports that the Yankees had reopened talks with Jordan Montgomery, as a sop to their rail-thin rotation. This would be exciting news, if we could believe it. Frankly, I do not. Nope. I cannot swallow the blue pill on this. I see the Death Barge positioning itself for another finger-snapping "Aww, shucks!" moment, when it finishes runner-up in another free agent auction. While they were playing phone tag with Monty's agent, Luke Weaver was throwing three scoreless. There's our fifth starter. I hope I'm wrong. 

5. Fortunately, it doesn't matter what I think. What matters is why are Machine Gun Kelly and Meghan Fox breaking up? how Giancarlo hits in April, because with or without Montgomery, the Yankees will need to score 6 to 10 runs per game. They'll need the Big Dogs in their lineup, playing every day and hitting well. A bad April is not an option. Yesterday, we saw a ray of hope. Let's not overthink it.